Grrr, parents are back stabbers

"El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First!" (lightningzone) 11/16/2013 at 16:01 • Filed to: None

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So, since July this year, I got my own place, I sometimes visit my parents, in weekends, as my gf and my mom get along surprisingly well. Half an hour ago, my dad asked me if I need any of the stuff I left in my old room, because they plan to unite it with a guest room that is only a wall away, and build an inside pool. I choked, it is my room, many of my lifetime memories are in there, I played PS1,2 and 3 in there, I got laid for the fist time in there, I packed for the best trips of my life in there, I stored all the stuff I liked in there, I painted the walls myself, when I entered high school, because the sky blue with happy stars motif was getting annoying and unfitting for a high schooler. I watched the first porn video in there(ok, that's not so memorable).

The idea is that I've been in that room since I wasn't able to walk or talk(my fucking babyhood), that was my space. Excepting the years I've been to college, I owned that room for 23 years, and they are making a pool there? I mean the outside pool is pretty close, build a glass roof, a couple of walls around, big windows and you got an indoors pool, jerks.

I told my parents about it, I even showed them pictures with it, including the one from the left side, but they said that the amount of work on a project like that would be far greater, and that I can still take one of the smaller bedrooms, upstairs. They missed the point, I don't want a place to stay, I got my own, I need my old room to remain mine.

$kaycog > El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! 11/16/2013 at 16:06

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"I got my own place". I know the feeling, but your parents have the right to do what they want in their home.

Shooltzie > El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! 11/16/2013 at 16:06

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I just have to say that if you have your own place, just let it go man. I know you have plenty of fond memories but you can make even more in your new place, and eventually in an actual house (assuming you're renting now)

Hell, when I moved out my mom turned my room instantly into storage. I even helped her carry tables up as I was still packing my stuff up. It may have been your room (and I did pretty much all that stuff in mine as well) but in the end you'll be thankful when you've made better memories.

PS9 > El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! 11/16/2013 at 16:08

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Who owns/pays for the house? If it's your parents then...sorry to break this to you, but that's not your room. It never was. They only let you use it because you are their son and they love you. That alone does not make it yours.

You got your own place and even a GF now, correct? Then the appropriate reaction is obvious; time to move on, bro. If they wanna do something with that room, let them. Actually, you can't really stop them at all, so the healthiest thing for you to do is give them your blessing. You've got rooms of your own you pay for yourself now. Make new memories with those, and leave that old one behind.

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! 11/16/2013 at 16:08

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You sound a little entitled here. If you have your own place, and have finally left the house, don't you think your parents are happy to have their own place again? At least they offered to let you take stuff out of it before they donated it to goodwill or something.

aquila121 > $kaycog 11/16/2013 at 16:14

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If you no longer live there long-term, isn't it a bit much to assume they'll leave your room as it was (with your stuff in it or not)? It's not a shrine to the 23 years you spent there.

But you're allowed to remember how it was fondly, and just look forward to the memories you're making in your own place.

desertdog5051 > El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! 11/16/2013 at 16:14

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Read between the lines. It is their subtle way of making sure you don't move back.

El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles 11/16/2013 at 16:14

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They can have their own place outside my room, it's a big house, and the value of the property would increase if they accept my idea, as a house with more living space and a covered pool is more expensive than one that has two less rooms and a small inside pool, that is close to an outside bigger pool.

sliding-sideways > El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! 11/16/2013 at 16:15

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When you move out, your kind of giving the go-ahead for your parents to do what they want. I honestly don't know of many parents who will keep their child's room for them after the children have left. Mine knocked down the wall between my sister's and my bedroom and turned it into a game/lounge area.

zachaput > El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! 11/16/2013 at 16:15

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Sorry dude, I had to...but this might be one of the biggest first world problems ever.

Aaron James > El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! 11/16/2013 at 16:16

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I'm sorry but if you think that is what makes parents Evil, you completely lack even the slightest grasp on reality. I can't imagine you'll get much sympathy here. You should celebrate the fact that you had a nice safe place to live and two parents who love you. I'm guessing they paid for your college too, those mean bastards...........

edit: the closest thing I had to a pool growing up was a 5 gallon bucket with collected rain water. You sound very ungrateful in this post. It's makes you sound entitled and snobbish.

$kaycog > aquila121 11/16/2013 at 16:27

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Well said.

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! 11/16/2013 at 16:31

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Do you pay their bills every month? Did you offer to help with the remodeling? Did you offer to do anything? Here is what you sound like "Bye mom and dad, I'm off on my own except when I don't want to be. Oh and you can't touch MY room in YOUR house because I don't want you to." Welcome to growing up - you are not the most important thing to ever step foot on this earth and everyone else has lives to lead themselves. Have you considered that your parents wanted that space back? Maybe they want to put a pool in there so that no one else can ever use it as a room? Maybe that is their way of accepting that you're gone and they are alone and they want their own way of moving on?

El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! > Aaron James 11/16/2013 at 16:32

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And for my first car, and for the instruments(guitar and drums) I never properly learned to play on, when I had my rock star dreams back in high school, and for many other things, the list is long.....but the point is that my old room still means a lot to me, I haven't left it at 18, I left it at 27, it is harder, I guess.m at 27 you are less restless than you were at 18 or 19, and yeah, they have been great parents all those years, but they are evil for trashing my memories.

McMike > El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! 11/16/2013 at 16:34

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It's OK to be heartbroken, I had the same feelings about my childhood home a few years ago.

However, I think you're a little off base with your expectations. Let it go, take lots of photos, and tell your folks you overreacted. It's still home. If you need new memories, you can still masturbate in the guest room. :)

lonestranger > zachaput 11/16/2013 at 16:40

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This is one of the best uses of this macro I've seen yet.

duurtlang > El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! 11/16/2013 at 16:42

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Come on, you're 23, let it go. Move on. As long as your parents give your proper notice and give you enough time to get your last stuff out and all that this is a completely normal thing for them to do. How long would you want them to keep your old room the way it was when you were a kid? Until you're 30? 40? 60?

I do have to admit I've never had the luxury to have my 'old room' myself. My parents moved out of my childhood house a few weeks after I started living on my own at age 18.

El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! > duurtlang 11/16/2013 at 16:45

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Actually, I'm 27, but the I wasn't really living in my room, when I went to college.

El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles 11/16/2013 at 16:48

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Now you sound like my grandpa, and he is dead, lol. Seriously, I offered to give them ideas, and even put them in contact with an interior designer, but they refused, as for bills, they never seemed to be in need for help to pay them, they even offered to help me with the rent, if I ever miscalculate my spending, and, for some reason, they still put $500 in my bank account, every month.

El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! > zachaput 11/16/2013 at 16:50

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Oh come on bro', that felt like a punch in the face, but I still laughed.

Zipppy, Mazdurp builder, Probeski owner and former ricerboy > El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! 11/16/2013 at 17:05

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When my brother left the house for university, my mother constantly insisted I use his room for storage, I repeatedly declined over the past 3 years. Now my brother is on his last year of university, and I was thankful we didn't put my stuff there. Only thing here is, my mother is using his room as an office, because apparently she can't use hers for some reason.

El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! > Zipppy, Mazdurp builder, Probeski owner and former ricerboy 11/16/2013 at 17:13

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She is using hers for storage?

Tekamul > El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! 11/16/2013 at 17:35

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As a former child and current parent, I can't understand your stance.

It's not your room, it never was. It was always theirs, they were nice enough to let you stay in it. Until you were 27 .

Calling them back stabbers behind their backs is kinda low. Let the room go and move on with your life. Memories are for remembering, not reliving.

Mike Lister > El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! 11/16/2013 at 17:42

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well it is their house

Axel-Ripper > El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! 11/16/2013 at 17:48

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Wait... How big was your room that they have enough room to put a GODDAMN POOL IN IT?

That being said, I kinda feel your pain, as I also moved out on my own this year. However, I also know that at some point I will have to get the rest of my stuff out of there so my parents can use that room for something. Of course, right now I can use the excuse that my apartment isn't yet big enough for all of my stuff that is there. And as an only child I can sort of get away with it.

But lets be honest here, there are far shittier things they could do with your room than put a pool in it. Sauna anyone?

V8Demon - Prefers Autos for drag racing. Fite me! > El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! 11/16/2013 at 17:49

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After MY kids move out, they will have ZERO say in the final decision of what I do with MY real estate and the structures thereon.

Sorry dude.....

El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! > Aaron James 11/16/2013 at 18:02

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Err...use the "Discuss" button, I won't get a replay notification, if you just edit the post. And I am graceful for what I got from my parents, but in my mind, "good" stuff and "bad" stuff, doesn't cancel one, another. Good people can make mistakes and bad people can do good stuff. My parents took a decision, about my room, without asking me if I agree with it, sure, legally they don't need my approval. But they don't need approval to knock on your door, when you're minding your own business, in your room, but good parents knock.

Zipppy, Mazdurp builder, Probeski owner and former ricerboy > El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! 11/16/2013 at 18:05

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Not at all. I have a feeling she's complaining about how cold her room's floor is, her room is on top of the garage with hardwood flooring.

Magister > El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! 11/16/2013 at 18:09

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So, you haven't used the room for four years?

It's their house. Everyone else has had to go through something similar. You've got to let it go.

TheDon > El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! 11/16/2013 at 18:29

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You didn't own it. Your parents paid for it and they own it.

I never lived in the same house for more than 5-6 years and never became attached to a room so just deal with it and move on

El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! > Tekamul 11/16/2013 at 18:32

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I called them back stabbers in their face, they laughed, said that I'm still a "rebel without a cause", I said that maybe my cause will become keeping my old room, and that I'm gonna wage war against them, and dad said that "ain't my first rodeo, kid", I asked him what does he mean, he said that it is the name of a 90's country song, he said that my baby-self used to stop crying, when hearing it, my gf started mocking me, saying that I like country, and the "rebel" joke, was on me. Funny how I don't remember listening to that song when I was a baby, I wasn't such a big fan of country music when I was a kid, and I'm not a big fan of country music now.

El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! > Axel-Ripper 11/16/2013 at 19:01

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If I remember right, I had 260 or 270 sq. ft. with the small bathroom included, the guest room that's next to my room, on the other side of a wall, has about 200 sq. ft., if you add it up, there is room for a small pool, and more, but I still think that getting a glass roof, a few walls and big window-doors, for the pool my parents already have outside, is a better investment for the property. And no, there aren't things worse things than that, that could happen to my room, because it won't be my room anymore, it would be a pool room.

Still, I do admit that there are worse things that could happen to you, like you can lose everything you have to a storm, just heard a news report about the situation the Philippines, and for those people, losing a room, is their smallest concern right now, they lost their houses, infrastructure, food supply and even their lives, many of them.

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! 11/16/2013 at 19:04

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I really hope there are people in your life who think like I do.......for perspective, when I moved out of the house, my room was converted to a guest bedroom before the week was up and I had to take everything of mine out or it would get donated to charity. Oh, and besides from one time where I lost my job at the same time my car's transmission exploded AND I was heading off to school in a week, I never just got money from my parents once I hit high school. And I consider my life to be pretty good since nothing too bad or tragic ever happened. I wasn;t mad at all that my bedroom became a guest room. It's not my room anymore.

Count your blessings that you not only have your own place, but that your parents have a home for themselves and you don't need to worry about them. I'm putting this VERY nicely. You are acting incredibly selfish and immature. I whined about my parents in this manner when I was 14 or so. But if you're 23 and still acting like this? You have a lot of growing up left to do.

El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! > Magister 11/16/2013 at 19:05

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I did, I went to college, came back, and stayed there in the last 3 years, until July this year, when I moved out.

Axel-Ripper > El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! 11/16/2013 at 19:08

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Get a floating mattress. Then your room would be a pool!

Magister > El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! 11/16/2013 at 19:13

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Pretty much everyone's parents have turned their room into something else or they've moved to a new house. It's a rite of passage. As others have said, you're just going to have to deal.

polird > El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! 11/16/2013 at 19:29

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When I was little, my parents told me they were turning the living room into a pool room. The excitement soon turned to confusion when we got a giant table with some sticks and a box of balls.

El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! > Axel-Ripper 11/16/2013 at 19:37

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Well, like someone already said, I think that one of the main reasons they are doing this is to tell me to stay out, lol, I'm not gonna make a scene out of this, since I have a place to stay, they will be the ones who will ask me to visit, my mom is bothering me with phone calls, every two days. And I can keep a small pet(presuming I will ignore my laziness enight get a dog, or my cat from from my parents' home). Damn pets, you need to feed them, clean their box, walk them, pet them, it was easier with a tamagotchi.

El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! > polird 11/16/2013 at 19:42

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Thanks for the joke, a lot other people seem to think that I'm a crybaby, It's not my fault that I've been the only child, my parents had or that I still like my old room.

El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! > McMike 11/16/2013 at 19:50

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Uncle Tony and aunt Ruth did things in that room upstairs, when they were here for the family reunion, I've heard them, even if I haven't seen anything, I have a pretty good imagination. The image created in my imagination prevents me from doing anything sexual, in that room.

El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! > $kaycog 11/16/2013 at 20:41

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They also have the right to wear panties on their heads, it doesn't mean they should do it.

SalsaShark > El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! 11/16/2013 at 22:19

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Any parents who supported the kind of whiny bitch who'd write this and be serious about it would deserve so much more than just a pool.

SalsaShark > El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! 11/16/2013 at 22:22

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HAHAHAHAHA, you're TWENTY SEVEN?! And you need your parents to maintain a shrine to your childhood forever?

This is a joke. This cannot be a legitimate complaint. Nice one dude, you almost had me.

Dawsonj > El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! 11/16/2013 at 22:46

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Your room was bigger than a third of my house.
I also don't see how this relates to automobiles. Irrelevant!

The Old Man from Scene 24 > El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! 11/16/2013 at 22:53

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The house I grew up in was sold as part of my parents' divorce settlement, it was eventually abandoned by a subsequent owner, then turned into supplemental office space for the township, sold and torn down to make way for a Lowes. The location of my former bedroom is now somewhere near the loading area in the back of the store.

I'm assuming that my stash of Penthouse and MAD Magazines (don't judge...) that were hidden inside the hollow door of my closet are long gone.

So, no sympathy here....

Brent Nowostawski > El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! 11/17/2013 at 00:17

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Its time to grow up. Theres people losing jobs and homes all together. Be grateful and thankful you had parents that gave you your own space and an opportunity to go out and make a life for yourself. Theres alot of young people that didn't have all those luxuries and opportunities. Perhaps you can pay rental fees on your old room and your parents will agree to your whims.

eldo500 > El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! 11/17/2013 at 00:35

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eldo500 > The Old Man from Scene 24 11/17/2013 at 00:37

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Haha, I understand stashing the Penthouses, but MAD Magazine?

OttoMaddox > El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! 11/17/2013 at 03:14

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GTFU-Grow the fuck up! And I say this with all the care and concern of an older man to a post-adolescent young man just beginning his journey through adulthood.

Look at it this way. Now you won't have the option to return to the nest if adulthood gets slightly tougher than you thought it would.

El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! > Dawsonj 11/17/2013 at 06:20

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I know, but many other things we post on Oppo is little to none, automotive related.

El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! > The Old Man from Scene 24 11/17/2013 at 06:35

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I'm sure that the demo workers who found them, also found the pages too sticky to use.

The Old Man from Scene 24 > eldo500 11/17/2013 at 07:46

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This was c.1975-1978. MAD was still seen as a bit subversive, not to mention a waste money, and thus banned from our house.

davedave1111 > El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! 11/17/2013 at 07:47

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I doubt you're really as emotionally attached to the space as you think you are. The memories you have will remain with you even once the space has changed.

Psychologically, a long-standing safe-space like your bedroom must have been is something that's hard to give up - but you gave it up when you moved out, even if you haven't quite come to terms with that anymore. As an adult, responsible for your own life, of course you can still go home for a bit of parental TLC - but you can't go back to your childhood room and crawl under your blankets when something goes wrong, like you'd have done when you were a child, and wait for your parents to fix it for you.

gravit8 > El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! 11/17/2013 at 11:06

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I'd just like to point out that until recently (say, 40 years or so) in the US it was still a pretty common thing for people to live with their extended family as adults. In most of the rest of the world, it's still VERY typical to have several generations in one home.

This bullshit about kicking you kids out at 18 and never ever considering that they might move back in is one of the reasons our country's economy tanked; while the median household income has remained ~$48k that is only with the benefit of the billionaires and millionaires balancing out the absurdly low incomes of that reviled '47%' who don't pay any income tax at all because they don't make more than $20k a year. So about half of the people in our country can't legitimately afford to own their own home.

This includes an increasing amount of fresh college graduates who can't find a job at all let alone one that affords them the luxury of settling debts or, you know, buying a home. Just imagine how much better things might be if we didn't constantly push this notion of kicking your kids out forever once they approach 20 years old. Lots of people might have been able to keep their homes. Lots of people wouldn't have defaulted on mortgages they couldn't honestly afford.

But go ahead, keep telling younger generations that they're on their own. It's worked out great so far. Pile on the contempt for anyone who has no other option than to co-habitate with their parents in their mid 30's. Spend tens of thousands of dollars stuffing your parents into homes when they get old...works great. Yep.

El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! > gravit8 11/17/2013 at 14:28

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I wasn't kicked out, I wanted to leave, since I have a stable girlfriend(relationship longer than 3 weeks), I didn't wanted my parents to stick their nose into our business.

pollenstein > El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! 11/20/2013 at 10:44

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First world problem, do you really think this is something anyone other than you should be concerned about?

pollenstein > El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! 11/20/2013 at 10:46

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No, but publishing your little spat for the world to see and criticising your parents is completely your fault.

thebigbossyboss > El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! 11/24/2013 at 00:25

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Time to give it up. I was in a similar boat (wait...we don't have a pool, maybe we weren't in a boat.) Honestly, at first I didn't care too much, and now I really don't care. I am never moving back with my parents, so it don't much matter. My old room is turned into a dance studio.

thebigbossyboss > sliding-sideways 11/24/2013 at 00:29

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Mine became a dance studio.